She tried to kill me y'all!!

I've got some great stories from Monday and Tuesday that I just haven't made the time to get on-line yet. Sorry y'all. However is Wednesday's play-by-play.

7:47 -- While in the car with Ashton on the way to work, Boot Scootin Boogie comes across the radio. I like to keep things interesting ont he car rides, so I throw on this sombrero she's got in the backseat and start jamming country style. Yeeeeha. And good times were had by all.

8:03 -- Throw on my Hawaiian gear for our tribe's Hawaiian Luau Day. I had my Dad's sweet blue shirt and then I found these amazingly huge Elton john like sunglasses straight from like 1982. They were red frames and they covered most of my face. Amazingly awesomly sweet.

8:45 -- For our Luau I brought a bag of stuff to decorate our shelter. Actually it was just about 20 rolls of streamers. All I have to say is, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

9:20 -- I definitely had to limbo to get out of the shelter on any side. When Kimbo and I let them go at it, i was expecting like streamers from the ceiling, some from the sides .... like normal party decorations and they were. Except I failed to anticipate the fact that their eye level is about my waist level. So when they were streaming they were on a different plane of existence. That and their third graders so they got plain silly with it. On a more positive note, the Beach Boys in the CD player made it all good.

9:30 -- Attempt to teach campers the card game Egyptian ratscrew. They got it, but they were sooo slow. not exactly the most intense game I've ever played.

9:45 -- Go to games where we play two decent games. Time went by fairly quick, so no complaints.

10:30 -- Head to the swimming pool. The glasses are still hot.
10:48 -- Realize the pool water is freezing and the clouds are coverign the sun so it's randomly cold out.
10:52 -- Despite the fact that I am cursed, I get in the pool anyway.
10:56 -- That didn't last long. My nipples were so hard from the cold I was worrying about poking someone's eye out. so in an effort to avoide being so scandalous I hopped and sat pool side. Needless to say, I wasn't alone.

11:14 -- Girls are not like boys. Apparently Kelly and Teresa had some clear shots up the swimming trunks of dave and I (they were in the water) and they asked us to close our legs. Needless to say if a guy had that kind of view no one would say a word or break eye contact for fear of the amazing moment going away. Hahahahaha.....then again, the male reproductive parts are generally ugly in comparison to the female reproductive parts just in terms of art and beauty.
11:15 -- NEWSFLASH: Apparently, white harry man thighs are disgusting.

11:45 -- Lunch begins. It should be known that soggy BLT's are blandly disgusting until mayo is added. Then they become delicious.
11:46 -- COUNSELOR SHERRIE IS MY HERO!!!!! For their hero theme lunch she wore a swimtowel cape and my name tag, thus being me for her superhero. WHOA! That is like the coolest thing that has ever happened to me at camp, seriously!

12:15 -- It's all camp Tribal Treat because the Normal Police Department's K-9 Unit has come for a demonstration. Definitely the coolest idea for a tribal treat ever ... it was sort of boring until they brought the dogs out. The girl counselors were all like, what a cute puppy, blah blah blah. I'm like, are we looking at the same dog? These are 100 pound killing machines? look at the teeth on those things, they ain't no puppies ladies!

1:14 -- I realize that for some reason I have no medication at camp. This means bad things for Jim's ability to stay awake. Geez, where's the city's speed dealers when you need them.

1:15 -- Craft time. I love craft time, especially because I am all about the craft time seek and find. Except today's was sooo hard and crappy ... and my co-co Kimbo was napping, so naturally it wasn't nearly as much fun. Sad, no seek and find races with Kim Possible.

1:40 -- Two girl campers start discussing this huge killer spider in the bathroom and how it's freaking them out. I asked a few questions about it and then had them show me. Turns out it was actually huge, like bigger than my hand ... but it wasn't a spider. I;m not even sure what it was. Keystaff called it a water bug thing. It looked like a weird, crooked, messed up Grasshopper. Needless to say, no question why these girls weren't fans. The bug had to go, so Keystaff was alerted and the bug went the way of the dodo.

1:50 -- Eyes getting reall droopy. Need to medicate ... check that, Need to nap. The clock can't roll fast enough.

2:15 -- No games for Jim. Layed down a blanket with Sherrie and Kyle Lawton (for a second day in a row) ... talked about novels and reading. Very good times.
2:20 -- Nap time. Woot woot!

2:40 - After about 15 minutes of napping or so I give up. The big black ants crawling all over my leg putting a damper on things, keep waking me up. The screams of children having a blast while playing a version of capture the flag entices me. Torn between napping with Sherrie and kyle and games, I ditch the napping (sadly the counselors as well), and went to play games. One dead sprint for the flag made me regret that one.

3:00 -- Head back from games early to tear down the shelter decorations. It took about 5 minutes, but intially I definitely thought, "kim and I have had better ideas, that's for damned sure."

3:35 - Begin playing Egyptian ratscrew (which I have re-named Egyptian Ratstew to make it camp appropriate)with Kelly and a few campers. I got out and then, staying true to my Egyptian ratscrew form I came back by slapping a pair of jacks and a four. i dominated for a long time and then got down to the ropes again, only two cards (a jack and a four of hearts). Battled back for the final time to dominate and claim victory. BEST AND LONGEST GAME OF ALL TIME! I'm still definitely on the top ten list of Egyptian ratscrewers in the world!

4:05 -- On the way home Ashton tried to kill me. We're at a stop sign on a road that t's into another 4 lane 45 mph road. we want to go left (across at least three lanes mind you). Some suv pulls into the lane to turn left onto our road and is taking their sweet time waiting for traffic to totally clear (rare). So Ashton looks to me and in all serious asks, "Can i just cut in front of them", inplying can i go ahead and turn left, thus refusing to yield to her right to turn by cutting in front of her because she's taking her time. I WAS LIKE< HELL NO YOU CAN'T!!! You are not going to kill us. That question made me totally nervous. I've seend and experienced some crazy-assed, stupid, suicidal moves, but that may be the worst idea I've ever seen or experienced. First and foremost if she gets hit the impact is on my side so i'm the first to go!

4:07- I told Ashton that if i had been her driving instructor or license instructor and she had asked that i'd had failed her on the spot and mandated she couldn't ever pretend to drive in this town again!

So yes, Ashton tried to kill me and I reccommend all of you stay off the roads and hell, the sidewalks for that matter!!

-Jungle Jim-